The Girl in the Mirror

I have to confess. I haven't always looked at the girl in the mirror as my friend. I have spent lots of time staring at her, nit picking over every imperfection and spent hours try to fix the damage with make-up and dressing to cover her flaws, while muttering derogatory comments under my breath. I viewed her with disappointment and frustration as I compared her to magazine ads and celebrities.
I counted every calorie and agonized over every work out and yet no matter how much work I put in, I never transformed into one of those physically perfect people that I idolized. No amount of working out gave me symmetrical features or a clear complection. I am not sure where this took root but it consumed me and I was obsessed and miserable. And that's when I was young! If only my teenage self knew what she had!

I am now 36 and the wrinkles are starting to show, my metabolism has slowed, and since I have had babies the loss of sleep has given me permanent bags around my eyes!. My body is showing the signs of middle age and the glow of youth is gone, and yet I'm starting to see my reflection in a new light. I stare into the dark brown eyes that are looking back at me accented by crows feet and I see in her something I haven't before. I still see the imperfections and now on top of those I see wrinkles, scar, freckles, and stretch marks but I see kindness in her eyes, laugh lines from spending so much time enjoying herself and others, I see the signs of a body that has carried my babies  and I see in her "flaws" a woman who has lived!

Now that I have daughters, I know I have to change. I want them to look into the mirror and see the beautiful girls that they are instead of picking themselves apart and comparing themselves to everyone else the way that I have. However, it is I who sets the example. 

And so I take another look in the mirror and I smile back at her. I thank her for all she does for me. I thank her for the long walks, for skiing, for being the vessels that I need to have adventures and serve others, for transforming and carrying my babies, for being the physical representation of my soul. The unsymmetrical face and imperfect body are precious to those that love and they should be precious to me as well. It's funny becuase not much in my behavior has changed. I am still eating healthy and working out and yet my mentality, my internal thoughts have drastically changed. I eat healthy to care for my body and give what it needs and exercise to make my body strong and able instead of trying to change myself into something I was never meant to be. I finally see that I don't need to do those things to make myself worthy, I do things things because I AM worthy! Ladies, hear this and choose to believe it. You are worthy! You are beautiful! Look in the mirror and see what those who love you see. Put the work in, not to become something you are not but to enhance that which you already are!