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Freedom FOcused

10/30/2017

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​This morning one of my friends posted this quote from Tish Harrison Warren's book, "Liturgy of the Ordinary: sacred practices in everyday life" 

"When I brush my teeth I am pushing back, in the smallest of ways, the death and chaos that will inevitably overtake my body. I am dust polishing dust. And yet I am not only dust. When God formed people from the dust, he breathed into us-through our lips and teeth-his very breath.

So I will fight against my body's fallenness. I will care for it as best I can, knowing that my body is sacred and that caring for it (and for the other bodies around me) is a holy act. I'll hold onto the truth that my body, in all its brokenness, is beloved, and that one day it will be, like the resurrected body of Christ, glorious."

This eloquently puts into words the perspective change that happened not only in my mind, but in my heart! Showing up for myself, fighting against my body's fallenness, treating my body as sacred, it became a holy act.

It allowed me to see my worth, to feel deep gratitude, and ultimately LOVE my body with all it's imperfections and flaws. We cannot reach this point when we view our body as the enemy, that which holds us back from acceptance and happiness. It's only when see it as a miracle, the vessel that was breathed into life and allows us to connect with others mentally, emotionally, and physically, that we can rise up as a warrior to fight for it and to encourage others to do the same! 

The accepted perspective is that if a person looks a certain way how they treat their bodies doesn't matter. It's about youthful attractive appearances and yet that perspective tears us down. It leads to eating orders, unhappiness, and isolation.

Some of the greatest warriors I know, the ones that show up for themselves, aren't a size two. They struggle with illnesses that threaten to steal the quality of their life and they responded with a battle cry! They grasp what is eluding most of our culture: the quality of this life is affected by how we treat our body.

Those of us blessed with good health can get complacent about this and it steals our joy! Caring for our bodies because they are a gift and because they are ours and not to punish them into an unattainable mold changes the way we feel about them and how we feel about a healthy lifestyle.

When we decide to stop hiding our imperfections, to stop trying to look shiny and be admired and instead choose to be real and to truly love ourselves, we find that true health means the combination of a healthy mind, a healthy body, a healthy soul. When one is off balance, it affects the others. And so, we must fight because true health is freedom!💗

We just started our Freedom Focused Challenge Group today and there is still time to join!  If you have seen your healthy journey as a deprivation or a chore, if you feel that your worth is tied to your pants size, if you feel isolated and disconnected from others, consider joining us. Chasing admiration and living in fear of others seeing flaws is exhausting! Living in freedom is what we truly need! 💗 Message me for more info!
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Are YOU Treating You Well?

10/28/2017

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Growing up, one of the things my family excelled in was communication. My mom did a great job of making us work out conflict and confide in one another. Those of us that were articulate helped those communicate that were not and those that were not learned to grow in that area. We learned to show up and deal with the mess instead of ignoring it.

While we may have rolled our eyes a few times, it's apparent now that the trust and loyalty that was built in those conversations has led to an unwavering commitment to be there for one another. We all know that one phone call is all it takes for support, help, and encouragement!

My mom saw the importance of health, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, and she worked tirelessly to provide us with the skills to create that within our relationships.

Each new stage of my life has required me to come back to these principles and remember that in order for life to be joyful and fulfilling things to be right for everyone.

I lost sight of that as a wife and mother. I was making sure everyone had what I thought they needed at the expense of myself. When in reality what my family needed was a wife and mother that was healthy inside and out!

When I was depleted I was emotionally frustrated, quick to become angry, unhappy with my body, eating to be comforted, checking out mentally, too exhausted to participate the way I wanted to and I was judging myself harshly as well. I lived in shame all the time!

When I added myself back on to the priority list EVERYTHING began to change. It wasn't just a healthy body that I needed it was a healthy life! One with balance.

If we only focus on how we look and what we should or should not be eating, we are missing the bigger picture! We aren't tending to the reasons we run to food, alcohol, or even drugs.

YOU matter! You deserve to spend time doing things you enjoy, you need to invest in your growth as an individual, you need to invest in your marriage and relationships, you need to invest in a healthy body both in food choices and exercise, you need to see yourself as part of your family dynamic and not just the power source that keeps it moving!

If you are looking around your life and realizing your relationships aren't ministering to you , it's time to do a gut check!

Are YOU treating you well? Are you addressing your needs or are you expecting others to fill them? Are you growing as an individual? Are you communicating what's going on internally with others?

Even having a strong foundation in this area, I found myself struggling because I stopped seeing my worth and stopped caring for myself.

This is why in our challenge group we focus on personal development and set personal goals! Fitness has to be only one part of a healthy life. If it becomes the sole focus, it's one more more thing we are expecting perfection in, instead of being an act of self love! Instead of a freedom it becomes a prison.

We are about to start our November group where we will talk about being freedom focused and living in grace! If you can relate to my story or feel frustrated, angry, or sad on a regular basis, I invite you to join us!

This was one of the first things I did to invest in myself and it completely changed my self perspective! I love sharing it with others! 💗 Message me for more info or just to talk! I'd love to be a listening ear and share more of my story with you!
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Casting Off Chains

10/27/2017

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​I read a post today that got my blood boiling early this morning. It was someone else in the health and wellness industry. She shared a blog post she had written about how weight gain in women could lead to divorce and how it was our responsibility as women to look the way we did when we got married...or else.

I'm not going to go into the finer points of this argument today. I want to talk about the bigger picture. I want to give you some tools against this kind of marketing.

These kind of messages play on fear. They attack the heart of an insecurity and drag you on a choose your own adventure story ( remember those?) that are not based on anything but shame.

The message is that you are not worthy in your current state and you need to do something or buy something or look a certain way to gain value.

On your health journey, pay attention to how messages make you feel! It's ok to recognize that some aspects of your life needs to change but does the person speaking give you hope and inspire you? Do they encourage you and make you want to heal? 

Or do they fill you with shame and cause you to act out of self loathing? 

I have seen hundreds of women start health journeys since I started coaching and something I've learned is that timing is important. You have  to do this for YOU. 

This is a journey of self discovery and self respect. It's you taking care of you and it does improve everything in your life but if you aren't ready than someone shaming you isn't going to make you ready.

It's easy to believe that shame is just the bad feeling we get from being "bad". It's not. It's the lie that we aren't enough. Conviction is productive. It's the acknowledgement that we need to change and that's helpful! But when the oppressive waves of shame wash over you, that should be a warning to you. 

That is the prison we can reject. If you hear a message on health or parenting or beauty or ANYTHING that leaves you feeling worthless or hopeless or shamed, that is not someone to follow.

One of the ways I protect myself is to imagine hearing it said to someone I love. I am a powerhouse of fury in defending others from lies but sometimes it's hard to do that for myself in a moment of fear or shame. What would your response be if you heard someone say that to a loved one? 

Think it all the way through! Don't be held captive by fear and shame. Don't be manipulated into hustling for your worth! Follow leaders that make you excited to grow! ( End rant 😉)
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My Love Story

10/26/2017

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Phillip and I have been married 10 years today and every word of this quote is true! lol We have some amazing fun years and then we have had years where we have painfully fought for each other, learned about one another and accepted each other all over again. It hasn't been ten years of uninterrupted marital bliss but it has been the relationship that has grown me more than any other in my life!

In marriage there are these moments when you are looking at your spouse and you realize you are both thinking, " How did we get here?" Life is hard, emotions are high, and neither of you can fully communicate your perspective or can't see the others side.

It's in those moments that the tenacity comes in and you simply choose each other again even when you have no idea how you will make it past that issue or that moment in time.

I stand here, still married to Phillip, because every time we hit the tough places we have BOTH chosen love, trust, partnership, tolerance, or tenacity, whatever the circumstances required, over our pride. It hasn't been easy, but it has been worth it!

Part of our success is that we have fought through these battles with ourselves first. We cannot expect to gain love, trust, respect, tenacity, and tolerance from another person if we can't even give those things to ourselves. When we put all our needs on another fallible sinful person, we are going to get crush beneath the weight of disappointment. Our spouse cannot love us perfectly anymore than we can love them perfectly.

I've been a Christian most of my life. I saw the evil in my heart and understood my need for forgiveness. I believed that my heart could be changed, but in all that, my whole life, I didn't see my worth. I was always trying to make up for what I felt I lacked. My failures devastated me! It wasn't long before I was more concerned with what people saw than I was about what was truly there because I felt so unworthy and so fearful of being judged.

I brought THAT into my marriage. Let me tell you, it's exhausting and you can't keep it up! While Phillip and I have fought for our relationship, that mentality made me insecure. I started to feel shame for doing anything for myself. I lived in a constant state of hustling for my worth and there was nothing he could do to help me. It was a battle I had to fight for myself.

He did serve me though! He saw I needed a change. He saw I wasn't caring for myself and he pushed me to make time for that. He couldn't make me see my worth but he encouraged me to create an environment where I could heal!

And healing is what took place! The most beautiful thing happened! The moment that I decided I wanted to heal, doors started opening! An acquaintance started a book club and I stepped outside my comfort zone and went, I fell in love with reading again and made time for that in my life. I realized how unhappy I was with my body and a friend reached out and shared this amazing program and what was working for her and through it I began truly caring for my body and my heart changed! One day I looked into the mirror and saw what was really there! A beautiful worthy soul with a heart full of purpose!

My worth didn't change. My perspective changed. In those moments I chose to love and trust myself. I chose to be my own partner, I chose tolerance in my weak moments and chose to keep going when I failed. It's a perspective that I know saved my marriage! It also saved my life, maybe not in the physical sense but I am no longer living to be numb, filling my emotions with food, and distracting myself with work and entertainment. I'm not wasting my life because I am afraid to fail. I'm failing all over the place and growing like wildflowers and its a messy beautiful life!

October 26, 2007 was one of the best days of my life! It was the first day we said yes to each other as husband and wife! What I didn't know was how broken we were as individuals, how marriage would reveal that, and how this partnership of souls would lead to healing!

We believe a lot of lies in our culture. We believe we aren't whole without a romantic relationship. We believe that we aren't in one because we aren't worthy. We believe that the one we are in isn't the real thing because we don't feel the same way about that person anymore. We believe we can fill the void with things or experiences, or other people. We think if we do enough, or say enough, or look a certain way, we can inspire people to love us.

What I have learned in my 38 years is this: If you are currently unhappy, you have to look inward. That feeling you are chasing cannot be gained. Joy is something that pours out of heart that is grateful and at peace. I have witnessed this joy in people that have lost EVERYTHING. It can't be acquired, it's something that is grown.

A marriage is made of of two people and you can't control your spouse ( believe me, I've tried 😂) There are no guarantees in relationships but in my experience when I was struggling and I saw Phillip choose growth, I was encouraged to grow. And when he was struggling and he saw me choosing growth, he was also encouraged to grow. We've been climbing a steep cliff and reaching down to give each other a hand as we climb but that relationship means choosing to keep getting stronger and climbing each day.

That's why I show up here every day, because I want that for YOU! My marriage, my health, my self perspective, my body, my entire life improved when I saw myself for what I was, a child of God full of purpose, on a mission and created to reach my highest potential!

The same is true of YOU! Be willing to show up and build love, trust, partnership, tolerance, and tenacity in your own life, they will serve you well! 💗

Happy Anniversary Phillip Reel! I'm so grateful for the life we've built and the people we've become through it all! I still choose you a million times over! 😘
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Fighting Corruption Starts Here

10/25/2017

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This week I told you I was working on not complaining and as I've been monitoring what is coming out of my mouth, I've also been noticing my complaining thoughts.

I am on fire with passion for helping woman find freedom in their lives! My true desire is to help them see their worth and beauty and to be filled with excitement for their lives!

And then, in weak moments, in the privacy of my thoughts, I can be such a hypocrite. I can pick myself apart, I can focus on my flaws, or how I'm aging, or all the ways I fail each day.

I can't change the corrupt system if I don't set my mind free. I can't change my behavior if my mind isn't free. The hard work we do as women isn't lifting weights, or controlling our nutrition, or challenging the world view, it's choosing to LIVE in freedom!

It's work! HOWEVER, if we want change, that's where it starts! People aren't inspired or persuaded into change with words, it's the internal transformation that makes others pause and take note! It's the desire to be part of what they see taking place in us!

I want my daughters to value themselves! I want them to require others to respect them. I want them to be so confident in who they are as human beings that they aren't intimidated by marketing ploys or tempted to use their beauty as power. I want them to love their bodies, to be good stewards of them but not be distracted how they look. I want them to be free! Because when they are they will walk away from jobs that don't pay them fairly, they will say goodbye to relationships that tear them down, they will be strong enough to fight for others without fearing loss of privilege, they will be the generation that brings equality because they refuse to be labeled or to label others.

Friends, I say this with tears in my eyes, I want this for myself too. I'm fighting for it and it feels like an uphill battle some days, but I'm staying in this arena because nothing threatens a corrupt system like a free mind.

This journey starts with self care and we don't get to pick and choose! It requires taking care of your whole self, mind, body, and soul! I used to be obsessed with a fit body and it consumed me, it was a sign that my mind wasn't healthy. I had to understand that I wasn't healthy before I desired to change. Whether your unhealthy is internal or external, our journey to healthy starts with freeing our minds.

We start a new group on Monday and I invite you to join us! Come and experience grace and freedom and boundaries that help you push past the comfort zone that hold you captive. You CAN change and you can inspire others with your journey! Message me to take the first step! 💗
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The Pain Is Temporary!

10/22/2017

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Friends, I am SO sore! I am day 4 into my restart since our vacation and sickness and I can barely walk today! Even stretching after Pilates was painful!
It was a good reminder of how my challengers feel when they first get started. The first week of any exercise routine is HARD! And this moment I'm in right now, this is where a lot of people quit. It's not fun to be sore. The thought of doing a work out when you can barely sit to use the toilet sounds insane!
But you know what? By week 2 the soreness is replaced by strength and you don't feel THAT sore again unless you stop and start over. My first week using three pound weights was worse than when I upgraded to 12 pound weights!
So often, people dread exercise because they do week one over and over. They quit and start again and they dread it! I worked out today because I KNOW I'm going to feel great in a few days and the hard part of this will be a distant memory in a week.
Consistency is what makes this FUN! It's where you feel good, where you see growth, and get those endorphins kicking! Don't give up!
In ten days we start our next group! This is the time of year to get ahead of the game! The holidays are coming and with them some pretty powerful temptations. Come join our Freedom Focused challenge group!
We are going to enjoy the holiday treats while still making progress through using the freedom we have to choose health and indulgence in according to our personal goals!
This is doable, my friends! You don't have to deprived yourself to make progress! You simply need wisdom and direction! I have a fun gift for those that sign up by October 29th! Message me to get more info! 💗
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Be Part Of The Mural

10/22/2017

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"Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance."
Brené Brown,

This is part of a mural at our church. It's made up of photographs of the church members tattoos.

It speaks to me.

I don't personally have a tattoo but I love to hear about other people's because,more often than not, they are portal into that person's deepest joy or pain or a window into what's important to them. They have taken an integral part of their life and shared it publicly. They have taken the time to count their blessings and remember the lessons. They have invited us to share in it!


I think that's what speaks to me about the mural. It's an invitation to be who I am, to bring my victories, my failures, my joy, my pain, and be met with love, forgiveness, and acceptance. It's says I'm not judged by what I've done but instead I belong because what's been done for me.


I don't have a tattoo but I bring my scars. When I gaze at this mural it's a reminder that there is no shame in them. They are part of my story, they are meant to be shared, and they make me stronger.


I'm done trying to be anything other than my authentic imperfect self. Self acceptance has been a hard road for me but, seeing true belonging on the other side, that inspires me to fight for it!


Come as you are, friends! Don't wait on the outskirts of belonging waiting to be worthy enough to enter. Your story adds to the beauty like one of these tattoo images, healing as you tell it, and creating an invitation for others to belong!

​ #tellyourstory #tattoos #flatiron #comeasyouare #metoo
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Rising Strong

10/17/2017

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Today, as I was reading post after post of #metoo stories, it was easy to get overwhelmed by the pain of so many incredible people. For a moment, I got swallowed up in the darkness. My focus settled on all the evil and pain and then I remembered something important. I remembered the good!

I remembered my brothers coming to my defense when I was a teenager. I remembered my coworkers stepping in between me and customers that were treating me poorly. I remember men at church walking me to my car at night after meetings and waiting to make sure I was headed home before walking away. I remembered strangers, male and female, seeing me in bad circumstances and being a friend to me when they could have ignored my plight or abused it themselves. I remembered that I married a man that does all this and more for me and for any woman he sees in distress.

I have experienced evil and been treated as less than human. We all have, men and women alike. There is evil and we do have to confront it, but let's not lose sight of the fact that there are people all around us fighting the good fight. It's easy to let our "me too's" be the sullen voice of a victim, but instead I hope that we take our power back and let "me too" be our war cry. 
May the sound of people rising strong and full of love be deafening! As we share our stories and allow healing to take place, let's be aware of those helping and let's BE those helping!

​ “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” ― Fred Rogers
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Is Shakeology Safe When Pregnant and/or Breastfeeding?

10/12/2017

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I've been getting a ton of emails asking whether or not Shakeology is safe to drink while pregnant or breastfeeding, so I took a few minutes to answer. You can watch here! Post any questions in the comments!
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Joy in Your (Health) Journey

10/11/2017

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I shared this with my challenge group today. We are all chasing joy and so often we are looking in all the wrong places! Joy follows gratitude and contentment. Joy is created when we accept love and reject fear.  It isn't found in circumstances, its something that comes from within! If you have believed the lie that you will be joyful when you lose the weight, or fit into a certain dress, or alter your appearance in some way, I want to challenge you today! Joy is an indicator of deep wellness! Wellness is an internal state of being. If you are lacking joy, it's time to delve into self discovery and self CARE! It's time to align your behavior with your true priorities and BE a person that you deeply respect. Our health journey is deeply personal and unique to each one of us, but you can gauge your progress on whether you are looking outward and comparing yourself to others or looking inward and learning what it is you truly want out of life and what makes you excited to be YOU! Joy is an indicator of deep wellness! Let's stop chasing a feeling and learn to live steadfastly within it! Here are my thoughts in group today:

"Health is a confusing topic in todays society. You can google healthy lifestyles and find a vast array of ideas and opinions and programs. There are fads to avoid but more than enough healthy ways to get started, but the problem is the focus. 


Right now in our society, the focus is on weight loss only. Yes, its obvious that obesity and illness are serious issues in our country, but they are only symptoms of a problem, not the problem itself. 

No matter where you find yourself on the scale today, your weight isn't the topic I want to talk about. The reason we turn to food for comfort or abstain from it for that feeling of control, the reason we have eating disorders is because we aren't WELL. We are stressed out, overwhelmed, unhappy, depressed, living our lives to please others, comparing ourselves to one another. 

The lie we believe is that a thin person is a healthy person. If someone is 120 pounds, they can eat all the junk food they want because being thin is our standard of health. I want that thought removed from all levels of your mind. I want you to stop measuring your health based off what size jeans you wear and instead check your joy meter! 

I used to hear people say that even though they hadn't lost all their weight or they weren't where they wanted to be they were full of joy and content with who they were while they worked towards what they wanted to achieve. I could never understand it. I was 116 pounds at 5'7" obsessed with staying under 1200 calories a day as if my life depended on it. I was miserable! 

But I AM there now. I can gain weight on vacation without wanting to berate and punish myself until I lose it. I watch women in this group everyday filled with joy in the journey because it is well with their soul! 

It's scary to lose the fear. I remember thinking that if I let the fear go then my life would get out of control. My fear was the tool I used to keep everything in check but it also made me deeply unhappy. 

Be willing to love who you are, mind, body, and soul! Dive into self discovery! Question your fears. Look for the good changes that you are seeing in your life, from making better food choices to shutting down the negative internal dialogue. Let this group be more than checking off workouts and avoiding junk food. Let it be a place you allow yourself to embrace deep wellness and experience joy! 

As we get started the fears will surface. Don't let them just be negative emotions, analyze them! Why do you feel uneasy or afraid or angry? It may not come to you right away but ask yourself anyway. Be willing to get to the root of it, so we can dig it out! 

I would love to hear your thoughts on this! Do you feel that you experience joy regularly? If not, what do you feel hinders you?"

And I will ask you as well! What are the lies you are believing about yourself? What elusive "goal" or thing do you think will bring you joy? Do you see the pattern of acquiring things that bring only a fleeting moment of happiness? DO you feel exhausted from chasing one thing after another and yet never gaining the joy you crave? Do you find yourself rejecting the idea that you are worthy and beautiful? 

If so, it's time for a change! The first thing I would recommend is getting out of your own head! Stop letting marketers define your worth and beauty! One of the ways I did that was to read books that deposited truth that helped me reject the negative inner dialogue. Here are some of my suggestions:


If you struggle with eating disorders, negative body image, self doubt= Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle ( If you aren't a reader this is a memoir and a fun read!)

If you struggle with self limiting beliefs, fear, self doubt= You are a Badass by Jen Sincero

If you struggle with consistency and long term vision= The Slight Edge by Jeff Olsen or The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy

I want to hear from you! Share your story in the comments! What is your struggle? What would you like to accomplish in your life? Do you feel like you know what the next step is for you?

On Wed, Oct 11, 2017 at 8:26 AM, AubreyK <aubreyk916@gmail.com> wrote:
Health is a confusing topic in todays society. You can google healthy lifestyles and find a vast array of ideas and opinions and programs. There are fads to avoid but more than enough healthy ways to get started, but the problem is the focus. 

Right now in our society, the focus is on weight loss only. Yes, its obvious that obesity and illness are serious issues in our country, but they are only symptoms of a problem, not the problem itself. 

No matter where you find yourself on the scale today, your weight isn't the topic I want to talk about. The reason we turn to food for comfort or abstain form it for that feeling of control, the reason we have eating disorders is because we aren't WELL. We are stressed out, overwhelmed, unhappy, depressed, living our lives to please others, comparing ourselves to one another. 

The lie we believe is that a thin person is a healthy person. If someone is 120 pounds, they can eat all the junk food they want because being thin is our standard of health. I want that thought removed from all levels of your mind. I want you to stop measuring your health based off what size jeans you wear and instead check your joy meter! 

I used to hear people say that even though they hadn't lost all their weight or they weren't where they wanted to be they were full of joy and content with who they were while they worked towards what they wanted to achieve. I could never understand it. I was 116 pounds at 5'7" obsessed with staying under 1200 calories a day as if my life depended on it. I was miserable! 

But I am there now. I can gain weight on vacation without wanting to berate and punish myself until I lose it. I watch women in this group everyday filled with joy in the journey because it is well with their soul! 

It's scary to lose the fear. I remember thinking that if I let the fear go then my life would get out of control. My fear was the tool I used to keep everything in check but it also made me deeply unhappy. 

Be willing to love who you are, mind, body, and soul! Dive into self discovery! Question your fears. Look for the good changes that you are seeing in your life, from making better food choices to shutting down the negative internal dialogue. Let this group be more than checking off workouts and avoiding junk food. Let it be a place you allow yourself to embrace deep wellness and experience joy! 

As we get started the fears will surface. Don't let them just be negative emotions, analyze them! Why do you feel uneasy or afraid or angry? It may not come to you right away but ask yourself anyway. Be willing to get to the root of it, so we can dig it out! 

I would love to hear your thoughts on this! Do you feel that you experience joy regularly? If not, what do you feel hinders you?

ᐧ
​
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    "And Aubrey was her name. A not so very ordinary girl or name."(Or so says David Gates ;) I'm a wife to Phillip, a mother to Scarlett and Juliet. We live in the beautiful city of Thornton, Co. I'm a recovering red bull addict. I love to read. I hate to cook. I seek to be inspired and also to inspire others.  I am a Beachbody Coach on a quest to be truly healthy mind, soul, and body and challenge others to do the same.

    "Liberate the minds of men and ultimately you will liberate the bodies of men."  Marcus Garvey

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