I've always thought of myself and have been described as a confident person but my closet tells a different tale! Not too long ago, I was trying to purge things from my closet and I was struggling. Even though I never felt like I had anything to wear, my closet was busting at the seams with clothes. I started trying each item on in an effort to figure it out and I started remembering. I bought that yellow top because I thought it looked cute on my friend, I bought the pink distressed jeans because they were trending one summer, I bought the one sleeved bandage dress because someone I admire told me they like the way it looked on me. My insecurities were laying all over my floor. It hurt. It hurt to look at my insecurity. It hurt to look at the wasted money. It hurt to see that I was trying to be someone I wasn't. But it helped too! I made a list of what I DID like! I like earth tones and muted colors, I like stripes and small prints and plaid. I like v-necks if they aren't too low. I LOVE denim and fringe and boots and jackets! I stripped out everything that wasn't me and started building something that was me. I decided that being comfortable in my own skin was more important to me than what people thought of my wardrobe! The funny thing is that I FEEL more beautiful and confident and comfortable in my 100% Aubrey wardrobe. Too often, we set our eyes on what others are doing and try to emulate what we admire instead of looking inward and discovering our own passions and talents. There is a difference in being inspired by someone and imitating them. Are you interested in a certain thing because when you learned about it, it ignited a spark in you or because you idolize the person doing it? That question will save you a lot of heartache! When something ignites in you , you know! But even if you aren't sure, anytime you pursue something new, be aware of yourself. Is it fun? Are you happy? Are you truly interested in what you are doing or is your motivation impressing someone else? Is your opinion swayed by someone else's approval? We have one life, spend it wisely! Don't get discourage when you realize something isn't for you! Scratch it of the list and pursue the next thing! The experiences aren't wasted time, the wasted time comes into play when we continue spending our time on things that don't fulfill us!
When you feel comfortable telling your boyfriend you hate Nascar, or your group of friends that you disagree with their parenting advice, or your coworkers that you don't like the restaurant they always go to, or when you're honest about things you DO like when you aren't sure how they are going to be received, you find out that you like yourself which is 1000 times better than having people admire you for someone you aren't and not only that but your honesty attracts people that are passionate about the same things and then you're in good company! I know there are moments when we look to outside opinions because we aren't sure of ours, but when you get others opinions be aware when that still small voice that doesn't agree. The first step to feeling beautiful and worthy is accepting who you are!
Just say, "Thank you!".
I have this vivid memory of being rebuked by my best friend. She had asked me to help her with a college assignment. They were making a mock news broadcast video about the short story A&P and pretending to interview women coming out of the grocery store and asking how they were treated based on their clothing. I wore a tube top and a pair of cut off shorts and as I approached my friend to get started she said, " You look beautiful! I wish I looked like that in a tube top." I wrinkled my nose at her and said something derogatory about my appearance. What she said next stuck with me. She replied, " Don't do that. Accept the compliment. Just say, " Thank you!" "
Ladies, I get it! We are bombarded with images of airbrushed photoshopped models, and we are surrounded by other women have beauties that we do not, we feel insecure and inferior. However, when we push compliments away we do two harmful things.
1. We reject the person giving the compliment. Someone is reaching out with a kind word having noticed something praise worthy about us and we shut them down. I know there are those that flatter but there are also people that find it hard to speak up. We want to create an atmosphere that liberates people to speak especially when the words they say uplift and encourage! By accepting graciously, we make it easier for them to be encouraging and uplifting in the future which benefits others!
2. When we reject a compliment, it reinforces our negative opinion about our appearance. You continue to chip away at your body image, and not only that, you are being that example to others. For the women that look up to you, for the women that don't have the physical beauty that you were given, when you insult yourself, you make them feel even less attractive. If you, who they admire, are saying there is a standard of beauty that you don't measure up to, what does that say about them? When you accept the compliment, you break that cycle in yourself and in others!
When we freely accept compliments and when we look for beauty in others and share that with them, we expand our society's beauty standard. We affirm those around us and make it clear that beauty can be found in our differences. Beauty isn't found in a certain skin color, body shape, or a few select features. It isn't found in one style of dress, or in a specific talent. Beauty is found in everyone and is amplified through being truly ourselves and being confident in our direction in life. Be YOU! Be beautiful! And when someone notices say, " Thank you!".
I was talking to a friend about her health and wellness journey the other day and she was very discouraged. She had been working out for months and barely eating. She was tired, hungry, and had only lost a few pounds. She was struggling because she knew that she couldn't go on much longer like this but she also really wanted to get fit. She was watching people all around her be successful and she felt like she lost genetic monopoly. The main reason so many of us do not succeed in our fitness goals is not because we have bad genes but because we have bad information! We live in a diet culture that loves instant gratification. We are told we can eat anything we want if we count our calories and then offered quick solutions like microwave meals and diet soda. You can't calorie count your way through processed foods. These items have been so refined and filled with chemicals and nonfood items that your body doesn't know what to do with it so it stores it in your fat cells. Even though you are eating, you are starving your body of the nutrients it needs. We have to reprogram how we view healthy eating. The diet culture has taught us to deprive ourselves and punish our bodies until we reach our goal weight and then eat until we gain and then do it all over again. We are sold product after product to lose weight when really all we need to do is eat real food and exercise. It's hard though, we are addicted to sugar and it feels better to eat a diet dessert bar and drink a diet coke than it does to choose water and strawberries for a snack. It takes dedication and time for our minds and bodies to respond, but they WILL!
Getting started on your health and wellness journey can feel very overwhelming. We KNOW that a lot of our habits aren't good. No one think its healthy to drink soda or eat at McDonalds but changing those kinds of habits is hard work. It might mean putting up with caffeine headaches for a few days while you are trying to work or having to plan ahead so you aren't so hungry on your commute. Time management is the reason a lot of us fail. Still, more fail because they don't have clear plan or understanding of how to make good choices. Don't get overwhelmed or throw in the towel because you feel uncertain or you aren't seeing results, keeping moving forward and learn as you go! Here are a few tips to help you get started:
1. Don't drink your calories! We all know this, but we guzzle sodas and juices all day instead of water. Start your day with 8 ounces of water to get your metabolism going and then drink water with ALL your meals. Even if you have another beverage during the day this will help you start developing a good habit and the more you drink water, the more you WANT water. Before some of you start arguing that diet beverages have no calories, there is scientific evidence that people that drink diet beverages gain more weight over people that dont. Read up on it and be educated about your choices! Just because it doesn't have calories doesn't mean its good for you! Your body needs water to function properly and when you drink chemicals and artificial sweeteners, you are pouring toxins into your system without giving it the water to flush out the toxins. To find out how many ounces of water you should be drinking, take your body weight and divide it in half. That's a lot of water!!!
2. Make time for breakfast. I was super offender at this before I had kids. I am NOT a morning person and I would wake up 20 minutes before I had to be out the door and I didn't eat breakfast which usually led to terrible snacks about 10 am. It doesn't take much to have a healthy breakfast. Boil some eggs while your getting ready to go and pair with a serving of fruit, or have some greek yogurt and granola, or overnight oats! There are a lot of ways to fit it into a busy morning without reaching for hollow carbs, sugar, or chemical laden foods! I personally found that having protein and fruit in the morning helped me not to crave carbs all day long. My sister does better avoiding them at dinner so she doesn't want to snack on them at night. Figure out what works for you and you will start to see amazing changes in your body from your food intake alone!
3 Eat Your Fruits and Veggies!!!! Seriously! There is no way around it. Your body needs them and you should be eating at least 3 cups of veggies and 2 cups of fruit per day. I try to sneak them in all day. I might do zucchini in my eggs with a little parmesan cheese with a side of strawberries, I throw a banana in with my shakeology, or have carrots and hummus as a snack. I prefer hot food so I will steam veggies for dinner or make things like a stirfry but worst case, if its dinner time and i dont have my all my veggies in, I'll make dinner a salad ( not my favorite!) but its an easy way to get those veggies in! You don't have to eat like a rabbit to meet your quota but you DO need to make it a priority. Pay attention to how you eat when you go to a restaurant. Start subbing veggies instead of fries or fruit instead of chips. It takes awhile to get those good habits in place but it will change your life!
4. Protein is key! Before I started the 21 Day Fix I had no idea how important protein was to my body. I don't care for meat and so, other than eggs which I didn't eat everyday, my protein intake was hit or miss. I could literally go for days without eating any! I worked out all the time, but I didn't have much muscle definition and I always had a little fluff around my waist. After I completed two rounds of the 21 Day Fix, because I was eating 4 servings of protein a day and trimming back on my carbs, my muscles became more defined and I had abs! At 35 and after having two kids, I got abs! Your body needs protein to build muscle and when you don't eat enough, you feel hungry. For me this led to eating to many carbs. Carbs aren't bad, your body needs those too but they shouldn't be a replacement for proteins, veggies and fruits!
5. Eat the right carbs! The carbs I was eating before the 21 Day Fix were not helpful to my body. I ate a lot of bread and not the whole grain variety! I had bagels for breakfast if anything, some sort of sandwich for lunch and often pasta or more bread with dinner. I used to fill up since I wasn't eating enough protein and always felt hungry. I ALWAYS felt hungry because I was calorie counting to stay thin and eating only carbs means I wasn't eat much. My servings were small! Now these are the carbs I choose:
Oatmeal (not instant in the packet) Rolled Instant Oats
Red Skin potatoes
Whole Grain Tortillas
Half a whole grain bagel
Half a whole grain english muffin
A little tip! French fries are my FAVORITE! And I don't order them anymore because I have no self control but red skin potatoes diced and roasted with a little Himalayan pink salt are healthy and delicious! I don't even miss french fries!!
5. Eat more often. It feels backwards to us because we have been taught that not eating is the way to lose weight. But the average body needs between 1500-2000 calories a day respectively. You may dip down into the 1200-1499 range if you are losing weight but,if so, you should be only be eating healthy foods to make sure that your body is getting what in needs in that low bracket. I eat 4 meals a day because that is what works for me but others need to eat every two to three hours. When you eat more often, you make better choices because you aren't famished when you are making decisions! I know when I am super hungry I start wanting a sub, or french fries or something I know will fill me up quickly.
6. Commit to a simple exercise plan! We overthink it. Exercise doesn't have to be long and complicated. I used to spend HOURS in the gym because I wasn't getting the results I wanted. I even had a personal trainer. Your results are 80% nutrition! Focus on that and then find something you know you can stick to. For me, I needed something that was only 30 minutes long. My kids don't last much longer than that. I was really surprised when I saw how simple the exercises were in the 21 Day Fix but since my nutrition was on point, the results were dramatic. There is something out there for everyone! Cize is all dance, Piyo is pilates and yoga, Hammer and Chisel is for those of you that love weight lifting, 22 Hard Corps will help you sculpt your body in 22 minutes with a military bootcamp style work out. If you haven't enjoyed the exercise you have done in the past, try something new! If you don't like it, you aren't going to want to do it.
Another key to success is having people in your life that support you and hold you accountable to your goals! I grew up with that but most people don't. In fact, when you start trying to improve your lifestyle, you may even have people opposing you or even sabotaging you. A side effect of being successful is that others feel convicted or even ashamed that they aren't doing the same. Expect this, and don't let it get you down! Find people that encourage you so when those moments come it doesn't end your journey! We would love to have you in our group and be your support! I have a new group starting Monday March 14th! We will spend the month holding each other accountable for our fitness goals but we will also be focusing on adjusting our perspective of beauty and seeing our worth as women! Choose your challenge pack -----> here! Or message me at AubreyK916@gmail.com,
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I LOVE Chinese food and Indian food and Thai food...you get the picture! As I have been diving into the world of healthy eating that has meant sucking it up and cooking, something that I hate doing! I've been kind of overwhelmed learning to cook foods that aren't just good for me but actually replace my old unhealthy favorites. This is one of those recipes that is going to be on rotation for sure! Super easy, healthy, and totally saved me from running to our local Chinese restaurant to fill my craving! Win Win Win! :)
1 pound of chicken diced into squares
2 cups of peas ( fresh or frozen)
2 cups matchstick sliced carrot
1 medium cauliflower shredded ( I put mine in a food processor and pulsed until it was shredded evenly)
6 green onions
3 cloves of garlic diced
4 Tablespoons of sesame oil divided
6 Tablespoons of Braggs Liquid Aminos ( or low sodium soy sauce)
In this world of social media and Pinterest, it gets really easy to be overwhelmed by what everybody else is doing with/for their kids. You can feel like the only parent that hates crafts or can't afford to go to Disney EVERY year! However, you are doing things for your kids that you don't even see. Today, this little miss ran in wanting to help me clean and I handed over the dust pan and I saw this look on her face. ❤️ Yes, it took me three times as long and I had to redo it after she left but I included her, took the time and made her feel loved. My mom did this too! I didn't have a childhood full of fancy vacations and expensive toys but I knew I mattered. You do this in your own way for kids every day! Keep a look out for this expression! Maybe it's your bedtime routine, or family dinner, maybe it's those moments when they fail that you wrap them in a hug and take the sting out of it, or a million other things! Look for them and enjoy those moments! It's the mundane every day moments that will in the end be the most important! ❤️
"And Aubrey was her name. A not so very ordinary girl or name."(Or so says David Gates ;) I'm a wife to Phillip, a mother to Scarlett and Juliet. We live in the beautiful city of Thornton, Co. I'm a recovering red bull addict. I love to read. I hate to cook. I seek to be inspired and also to inspire others. I am a Beachbody Coach on a quest to be truly healthy mind, soul, and body and challenge others to do the same.