I don't really know when beauty started being so important to me. I remember being told I was a beautiful child, I remember feeling confident and loving my body. And then, as I got older, people's comments ( mostly not even about me) started chipping away at this broad view I had of what was beautiful until it became so narrow that there was no room for me. I became insecure, self-conscious, and discontent.
WHO I was didn't even enter the equation. I think a lot of women feel this way. We are told our worth and power are found in our physical beauty but nothing could be farther from the truth! When it comes to OTHER people, we know this right? When we talk about people we love, we don't start with what they look like, do we? We talk about how kind, honest, intelligent, loving, strong, gentle they are ( or add your favorite adjective! ;) ). So why don't we give ourselves credit for these things? I love the quote, " What you focus on expands." When our eyes are constantly on our flaws and faults, they seem bigger than life. We are in a state of hustling for our worth and trying to fix, or even punish, ourselves in light of the perceived lack. We hide behind made-up faces and trends. We are afraid of being seen, of being judged, and we feel shame for everything that we are not. Instead, our focus needs to be on what we ARE. When we dive into self discovery, when we glory in our strengths and interests, we find those that need us, we strengthen our ability to serve others. When we focus on our strengths, our strengths grow and transform us, taking our weaknesses right along with them! The hardest part is that in order to heal and grow, we have to step into the light. We have to be seen. We have to brave others opinions, disapproval, and judgement. We have to. Imagine, if you will, a tough mudder competition or obstacle course. Your obstacles lie in a straight line up ahead and hundreds, maybe even thousands of people, line the course on either side. You can either stand frozen or you can tackle the course. If you focus on the crowd, you might become disheartened by those that are jeering, you might get insecure by those that watch silently, you might hone in on only those cheering for you but they are still a distraction. It's only you and the course. It's your job to tune it out and focus on the task ahead. It doesn't matter how many times it takes you to overcome an obstacle, it doesn't matter how long it takes you to complete the course, you are stronger when you finish than when you got started, and the only people who's opinions should matter are those that are battling it with you. I can promise you this, no one that is in the arena with you will judge you. Those that are in the fight, respect you for simply being there, because that is more than most people will even try. They will encourage you and support you. You find these people by stepping out into the light so they can see you. It hurts at first. i won't lie. When I decided I was done hiding, I would speak my heart and then regret it. I would post things on social media and then take them down in a panic only to put them back up again. You know what happened though? Those of you in the arena began to encourage me. You helped me take my eyes of the crowd and focus on the task at hand. Healing was uncomfortable but the more I sought after it, the stronger I became and the more I transformed, until one day I looked at my reflection and marveled at the beauty of my own transformation. I want that moment for EVERY woman. That is the moment we become most beautiful, when our hearts, minds, and bodies are strong, we know what we are fighting for, and we go forward with courage! There is NOTHING more beautiful than that! The beauty we long for has nothing to do with the body we were born with and EVERYTHING to do with how we choose to use it.
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Yes, yes, I know! I'm a coach! But let's face it. We can't live in a bubble where we avoid all friends, family, parties, and celebrations forever, right? Maybe temporarily while we work through a program or lose a set amount of weight but life happens and having a plan makes you prepared. So here are my rules, I hope they help you! 1. Always make it a tall. I know its hard to buy a smaller Starbucks beverage when you can get a Grande for 50 cents more but you are also adding to your waistline! I also order my caramel macchiato "skinny" to remove some calories. 140 for a skinny, 228 for a regular and it tastes delicious. Order the smaller beverage and enjoy your treat! 2. Dessert. When out with friends I often struggle not because I want the dessert but I stand out and make others feel self conscious about ordering it themselves. ( The curse of the skinny girl coach) A lot of restaurants now offer sampler size desserts and I'll get one of those. Could I eat ten of those? Easily! But I get to participate without sabotaging my hard work. 3.Get a to-go box brought to you when you receive your food. It's America. Our portions are ridiculously big. If you have been working out even for a short time, you know you can't eat all that and stick to your nutrition plan. I will box up the portion I shouldn't eat before I take the first bite, because if I don't I will eat the whole darn thing! 4.Fast Food. We shouldn't eat it, we know that. However, you will at some point get dragged to a fast food restaurant with a herd of people after an event or church ect. I only allow myself to order grilled chicken sandwiches or salad, no matter what smells good. I order water or unsweet tea, I get fruit instead of french fries or skip the fries if fruits not an option. Period. No exceptions. 5.Baked Goods. You know there are those days you just want prepackaged cookies or cake or donuts ect. When I do splurge on a treat like that, I try to buy them in the bakery where they have been made fresh with no chemicals or preservatives or buy organic treats like Annie's organic cookies. Processed Foods that have chemical preservatives or non food ingredients break are not recognized by your body and so they get stored in your fat cells! It's hard to remove them from your system without a detox, so don't put them in! If you have a treat, make it real food. I also stock on healthy recipe ideas that are delicious like Chocolate Covered Katie's dessert cook book. I make a version of her banana chocolate chip muffins with whole wheat flour and coconut sugar ( which is full of all kinds of good things). They aren't 21 Day Fixed approved but they are MUCH healthier than buying a muffin made with white flour and white sugar. 6. Wine when you dine. Wine is approved on the 21 Day Fix nutrition plan so that's a plus but skipping mixed drinks full of sugar and syrups ( and often those non food chemicals) will help keep you on track and keep seeing results you are working towards! These are the basic treat rules that I follow! If you have some of your own share them below! image from www.chocolatecoveredkatie.com
When I was 21, my parents separated and I moved in with my mom to contribute financially while she figured out what the next step was and help her with 4 of my siblings that were still at home. She had gotten married at 17 and hadn't had a job outside the home in over 20 years. We were having a family meeting at the dining room table in our new home and we were discussing all the details of both of us working, both of us going to school, looking at buying a house, where the kids were going to go to school, budgets, and more. My mom, emotionally and physically exhausted said, " Maybe I need to quit school until I get my ducks in a row." In a moment of divine clarity, I literally yelled, " No! Forget the ducks! There are no ducks!" And it immediately became a family quote!
My mom stayed in school and went on to become an RN and was able to buy a house and be self sufficient. Too often we are waiting on the right timing circumstances or provision to take action, but those things don't exist. If you want to change your life, you have to make a plan and make it happen! The time is going to pass whether you take action or not. Where do you want to be in a year, 5 years, 10 years? Write it out! Make steps. Start today! And most importantly, Forget the ducks! |
Author"And Aubrey was her name. A not so very ordinary girl or name."(Or so says David Gates ;) I'm a wife to Phillip, a mother to Scarlett and Juliet. We live in the beautiful city of Thornton, Co. I'm a recovering red bull addict. I love to read. I hate to cook. I seek to be inspired and also to inspire others. I am a Beachbody Coach on a quest to be truly healthy mind, soul, and body and challenge others to do the same. Archives
February 2018
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