Our potential as human beings is our wings. When we are standing in it, when we are making decisions that are true to our calling, when we are benefiting the world with our skills, we feel free! We feel excited about our lives and we look forward to what the future holds! Our perspective is one of giving. Its others and outward focused. It doesn't matter if we haven't mastered our craft or how awkward we look learning. We press on and fail forward because even our imperfect attempts are serving and improving the world!
Most of us are lost when it comes to our purpose. We don't know why we are here or what we are supposed to be doing. Most of us are fuzzy about our own skills if we feel like we have any at all. Our eyes are inward or self focused. Our thoughts are on who we appear to others or what others think of us. We compare ourselves to made up celebrities and photo shopped models. We have lost sight of our worth and we try to gain it in others approval. We pursue vocations for the monetary rewards or fall into our work through NOT making decisions. The weight of our potential hangs heavy on our backs. We feel weighed down, worthless, and defeated. We spend little time doing the things that we were created to do and instead lament the skills we weren't given. We are spending so much of our time to things that don't fill our soul and we feel like we never have time to do things we love.
From this emotional place, we struggle. We self medicate. We distract ourselves with entertainment in an attempt to find relief from the weight we carry upon our backs.
As a coach, I see so many women trying to struggling to see the root of their unhappiness. They are steeped in shame over their appearance which they blame on a lack of self control which they view as a weakness. In reality their unhappiness stems from not living in their purpose, not valuing their own calling, comparing themselves to others to which they turn to food for momentary comfort.
Often when they join my group, their entire focus is on changing habits to lose weight or achieve an unattainable beauty standard. The habit was born out of a need for self care because of deep pain. The pain will not disappear on its own. The act of cutting out harmful vices like sugar and processed food makes the pain sharper at first, but much like how a splinter is located, applying pressure and feeling a deeper pain as you get closer, so can you find the source of your pain and work towards its resolution. You may stumble your way through and find yourself head first in a bag of cookies more often than not in the beginning and that's ok! It's hard. it's work. You're not a failure. You are a soul looking for where it belongs.
The reason I coach isn't because I love transforming bodies, it's because I love guiding people to freedom! I love being the voice of grace and understanding and comfort. I love speaking the truth and giving other women courage to take that weight that rests upon their shoulders and turn it into the freedom of wings!
We are gearing up for our January group and I want to invite you to join us! If you have tried again and again to practice self care and end up back where you started, I encourage you to renew your mind with us! If our perspective is off than we will never end up where we want to go, we will carry that weight upon our back forever. It's painful because we aren't supposed to be carrying it! Message me to get more info!
Find The BarriErs
In the process of self care there is demolition that must take place. The walls we've built to protect ourselves, the lies we've believed that hinder our connection with others, and the fear of what we will find if we open that door of self discovery must be torn down.
It's not that love isn't available to us, it's that it can't reach us through all the protective layers. In order for us to love well and be loved in return we must remove anything that stands in it's way.
We must grow. We must heal.
Redeeming Petty Vices
Sugar. It's been part of every discouraged conversation I've had this week. Women feeling weak, stressed, ashamed over their vice.
Friends, we all have them, the things we turn to when emotions run high and we're hurting. Usually that item is the first one my challengers try to quit cold turkey as they get started on their health journey, but guess what? Life doesn't get easier because we made a commitment to our health. It keeps going on throwing unexpected expenses, sickness, flat tires, you name it! Without the things we normally turn to it feels more painful than usual. We begin to believe the lie we can't do this, it's too hard. We binge. We feel shame. We binge again.
Your health journey is your own. It's not going to look like anyone else's. It's about you healing from the inside out and that's a lot of work! Analyzing your emotions and gut reactions, taking responsibility for your thoughts and behavior, committing to growth, those are the things that matter long term. Simply quitting your vice won't help because the pain will remain, you have to deal with it. And if you ARE dealing with it, using your vice here and there to help you cope is ok because one day you're going to wake up and not NEED it to get through day! You'll be happy and healthy inside and out! Those treats you're using for self medication will transform back to treats when you've done the work.
So don't beat yourself up over your weaker moments, arise out of them with the knowledge that you are growing and healing and it's HARD but you're not giving up! Remember we all have pain and unhealthy ways we are coping. Just like it's ok to have a pain killer after surgery or a crutch after a broke leg, it's ok to have a vice, just be working towards the day you don't need it anymore.
Practice not running to it immediately. Being willing to feel the pain for a moment and process what's causing it and why it hurts before you numb it.
And after, reject the shame. Acknowledge that even using the vice is part of how you've learned to care for yourself and acknowledge that you are working towards better methods and working towards healing!
You are not a failure because you need help, you are human.
I'm almost a decade late on The Hunger Game series but this past week I caught up and fell in love! One of the things that stood out to me was this conversation:
Katniss: So you're here to make me look pretty.
Cinna: I'm here to help you make an impression.
Ladies, we spend way too much time trying to keep up with and look like everybody else. Pretty is too short sighted of a goal. Thin is to short sighted of a goal. You aren't here to be desirable to the most people, you are here to make an impression! You are here to add a you sized dent on this planet we call home.
Stop fretting over the scale, or the size of your nose, thighs, or waistline. Every time society has decided what is beautiful someone comes along who is confident and changes the game! Don't try to fit your square self into a round hole. Make such an impression that you change the game!
Instead of using your time to stare in the mirror criticizing your body, put your mind and skill set to use. Create something! Invent something! Write a book! Start a revolution!
Instead of seeking to be LESS than who you are, Be MORE and don't apologize for it!
Instead of wasting time lamenting what you don't have, amaze us all with what you WERE given! Play the hand you were dealt so well that others stop and take notice, not for what you look like, but for who you are!
As Haymitch tells Peeta and Katniss, " Make sure they remember you!"
Pretty faces fade, fit bodies still age, what you create with your years on this planet and the people you effect with your individuality become your legacy. Make sure they remember you!
I've had this song on repeat in my car lately. I do that. 😂 🎶
If you've been following me for any length of time you know I love to help people with their health but our lives are so much more than being thin or beautiful or fit or whatever elusive standard of success makes you feel inferior.
Our lives are about time and relationships. Time is our most important resource and we don't know how much if it we have. Human connectedness is what makes life amazing! And yet as women we waste approximately one whole year of our life worried about body image! Most women waste another year of their life applying make-up.
We waste more time pursuing careers and jobs we don't really love out of fear and too much stock in other people's opinions. Or keeping people we love at a distance as we attempt to hide our flaws.
We struggle to love ourselves. We struggle to enjoy our lives.We are more concerned with being thought well of then we are about what we ourselves think. The farther we get from our calling and truth, the more we seek distraction and comfort.
Self discovery is uncomfortable. It is. We have to look over the messes we've made, the hurt we've caused, but it also sets us free to embrace growth and become the person we've always wanted to be. It doesn't just happen. We have to know ourselves. We need to know what we believe about spiritual things so that we can align our actions with our beliefs. We need to understand our talents and skills and desires. We need to know what we want and why we work for it.
In the end, we lose the physical beauty, the money we've gathered, even a good reputation fades away as we are forgotten by the generations to come but a life spent investing in people and relationships and service to others with the gifts that we have can change the world!
While we might not be remembered for it, an encouraging word to a friend may have given them the courage to write a book that affects millions, or helping an abused person heal may change the entire course of life for her entire family line.
I dont know what it will be for you. I don't even know what it will be for me but I know I want it! I want to spend my life investing in people. I don't want to spend my life fretting about my appearance and watching it deteriorate in the mirror.
So while I encourage you to eat well and exercise, just remember life is more than fitting in your jeans. Stop beating yourself up for food choices and lack of progress and start digging deeper into why you seek comfort and distraction. Ask yourself the tough questions. Give yourself time to discover the answers. Fight for yourself and encourage others with your story. Be vulnerable and transparent. Find your people and invest in them.
In the end, we won't wish we had watched more Netflix or eaten more junk. So what do you want to build with the time you have? Stumble, fall, fail, dust yourself off and get back up, but get to it! The truth and adventure await!
Start Where You Are
The beginning that we can't change often trips us up. We can't help how we were raised, what others have said to us, or even escape the consequences of our own poor decisions, but we can write the ending any way we choose!
I grew up in poverty and because of that I started my adult life in debt. Student loans, credit cards, living pay check to pay check.
I was 29, married, with a $50,000 equity loan debt on a house I owned with my mom. We took out the loan so both us could get through school with 4 of my siblings still at home. Every moment I was doing the best I could to serve me family and the best I could do to get by. I was trying to make progress and it always felt like I was spinning my wheels.
My hubby and I signed up for a financial class and I was full of dread. I didn't want to show anyone my mess. I didn't even want to look at it myself but that class changed everything. In 2 years we had that debt paid off and 3 years later we were completely debt free. I rewrote the ending to that chapter and it's given me the courage to keep tackling issues in my life.
Forgive the past, whether it's others or yourself you have to forgive band then show up for yourself. Show up weak, show up scared, but show up and change the ending to one that redeems the pain.
The mess doesn't define who you are, you do.
#hotmessexpress #changetheending #youcandoit
Wisdom from Mary Poppins! 😂💗 I love watching these classics as an adult! #wholenewperspective
My health journey has been mostly internal and this is the very truth that changed my behavior. Our culture communicates that our worth as women is found in our desirability. When we choose to believe that we lose sight of our individual calling, our skills and abilities cease to matter, we are consumed with chasing something we can never achieve.
Even the most beautiful women in the world are criticized! They are chasing youth and having surgery to look prettier and younger and still they are forgotten when someone younger and prettier comes along. We envy them but they aren't try known or respected, just lusted after.
You are beautiful, those who know you probably tell you all the time, but it falls on deaf ears as you compare yourself to whatever beauty trend is popular this minute. It's not your responsibility to be beautiful, it's your responsibility to take your unique gifts and abilities and focus your time and attention in a way that makes you excited to live, excited to be you!
Your beauty is to be desired by one person, the person you choose to spend your life with and, even then, that person is going to care so much more about who you are than what you look like. You are more than enough.
So, don't be caught up with unattainable beauty standards, be caught up with living your life, discovering who you are, and doing something amazing with the time you have. You have infinitely more to add to this world than physical beauty that fades. 💗
Find Your Strengths
I finished reading Misty Copeland's book, " Life In Motion" this week and it was so inspiring! I am always blown away seeing others so obviously standing in their strength!
It got me thinking about how some people seem to stumble upon their passion and purpose and how others spend their whole lives trying to figure it out. Or how some people find what they are passionate about but never really gain traction with it while others seem to shine.
So this week I have been studying strengths, how to find them, recognize them, and put them to use! One of the major things Ive noticed is that we all tend to focus on damage control and working on our weaknesses instead of creatively using our strengths to problem solve and build.
In our Heart of a Warrior group we are taking a free strength finding test and chatting about what we find! I was surprised by my results and yet they were really accurate and really helpful! Come join us! <3
It's easy to do. There will always be someone who thinks they know what's best for us, or who wants to save us the pain of error and mistakes, but when we hand over the pen we sell ourselves short.
Self discovery is messy! It is made up trial and error and failing and glorious success! It requires us to follow where our intuition and skill set leads. It's scary...and amazing!
I spent 4 years holding the pen in my hand, not handing it over, but not writing with it either, out of fear. There is nothing as exciting as committing and putting the ink on paper! Living boldly and growing! I've become much less afraid of public opinion and more afraid of living anything less than my highest potential.
Half of figuring out what you want is figuring out what you don't want, and both of these require life experience to find out! Live well, my friends, and take back the pen. ✒️📝✍️ #writeyourstory #livewell
"And Aubrey was her name. A not so very ordinary girl or name."(Or so says David Gates ;) I'm a wife to Phillip, a mother to Scarlett and Juliet. We live in the beautiful city of Thornton, Co. I'm a recovering red bull addict. I love to read. I hate to cook. I seek to be inspired and also to inspire others. I am a Beachbody Coach on a quest to be truly healthy mind, soul, and body and challenge others to do the same.