Anyone that posts pictures of a physical transformation will tell you that being that vulnerable is nerve racking. You hesitate before you post your pictures and you feel so sick after you post them that you almost take them down. We spend so much trying to make our flaws invisible that it feels unnatural to share our struggles even when that is side by side with our success. I felt this way too. In fact, I felt ridiculous! All around me are women losing 20 pounds, 50, pounds, 100 pounds and inspiring people like crazy to start taking their health seriously. In comparison my 8 pound postpartum weight loss seemed like a joke.
My friend Stephanie used to tell me anytime I felt like whining about something, " Nobody cares about the problems of the skinny girl, Aubrey!". And let's be honest, no one wants to hear the thin girl being critical of her appearance! So I kept my weight loss to myself and continued to pursue my health and little by little started to realize that I was only being silent out of fear, fear of being seen and fear of being judged. I would occasionally get into conversations with people who asked me what I did to be fit after having children and I would mumble something about the 21 Day Fix and how much I liked it and then I would switch the topic. After one such conversation, I felt really convicted that people were asking me because they needed help and I was unwilling to help and only out of fear. I started offering to help and before too long I realized with a small amount of horror that I should be coaching. The best way to help others with fitness, something I am passionate about, was to be a coach. I battled with it for months and ultimately it was my husband that told me I needed to just do it.
I will tell you this, my external transformation was unimpressive, but my internal transformation has been life changing. I don't know at what point I went into hiding but I let my light become dim as to not offend anyone and all that really resulted in was that the people that would have been drawn to me didn't see me. None of us can be useful if we aren't willing to be vulnerable. I have felt like the odd man out all of my life. I wasn't as conservative as my church friends, not as liberal as my school and work friends, I was single when everyone else got married, newly married when everyone had kids, now I have small children while most people my age have teenagers. Somehow my life never seems to line up with the people around me and somehow I managed to let that make me feel like I couldn't be fully me as if being honest about my struggles would bring other people down or celebrating my successes would rub people the wrong way. Maybe it would have, but you can't live your life for other people. People can opt in and out of being in relationship with you and trying to keep everyone is your life waters down your experiences. When you truly pursue the things you are passionate about, those that are passionate about them too want to be part of that and those that aren't ,don't, but you will live a much more fulfilling life giving yourself wholly to the things you love and being surrounded by those that understand that about you. It's the tribal connection. I am sure you have heard people say, " Your vibe attracts your tribe." Its totally true, but you have to let your vibe out to attract them.
I know not everyone knows right away what things they are passionate about. Not all of us are gifted in such a way that we play professional sports, become a doctor, or a missionary. Some people seemed blessed with the supernatural gift of knowing what they were put on this earth to do. I have said this before but I am more a jack of all trades. I have gotten a degree in photography and started a successful business doing that, I was a natural at being a buyer, and now I get to pursue my love of fitness and nutrition, but pursuing things I loved led me there. Doors opened because I was actively pursuing my passions. After I had kids and quit working for awhile, I lost touch with that part of myself. I call it being lost in mommyland. I loved being a mother and have two small children was exhausting and I just stopped making time for outside interests, but in that time, I felt distant from myself. The first step for me was that I started making time for reading again and joined a bookclub. That simple step reminded me how much I love to read and it went from fiction for book club to personal development. The personal development books were a balm to my soul and slowly but surely I started finding my way again and that led me to being a Beachbody coach.
One of the vital behaviors in coaching is reading personal development so having that part of my daily to do list only helped me grow further. Another vital behavior is stepping outside your comfort zone. You don't grow without studying, being introspective, and then doing something about it. The first few months of coaching was hard for me. I had been hiding for so long that connecting with people made me feel exposed and fearful, but my desire to care for and help others helped me to overcome that and in the end those of you that have supported me have been more help to me than I will ever be to you. The kind words, the encouraging messages, those that jumped in my challenge groups, you have brought me to tears with your support. Do I annoy people with my passion for health and fitness? I am SURE that I do, but I know anyone that is passionate is going to annoy someone at some point. I have a friend I grew up with that has completely different political views that my own. Seriously, they could not be more different, but honestly I am drawn to how passionately that he stands up for what he believes in and he inspires me to be that way in my own life so I know that we don't have to agree with each other to have deep respect for each others authenticity. Like I said before, facebook, instagram, friendship its all opt in! We aren't forcing people to be part of anything they dont enjoy. I don't want to live a half life so at my funeral 100 people have a vague idea of who I was and can stand up and say I never offended them. I'd rather have 10 people at my funeral that stand up and say I affected their life powerfully, but the only way for that to happen is to be fully myself.
I find it much harder to be authentic in this age of social media. We watch daily as people that are doing great things get torn down for their choice of wardrobe or have their personal life ripped open publicly. We see people post their grievances for all to see on facebook and we know we are only one step away from being the subject of such a post. One wrong move with the wrong person and you are being verbally attacked. We live in a generation that gets offended about everything, but we can't let that affect our authenticity. We have one life to live, do you really want to waste it on being politically correct every moment of your life? We can disagree with each other, respect each other, and love each other all that the same time. Dive into knowing who YOU are. Be willing to study and learn about things that interest you and when you find something that makes you excited to get out of bed in the morning, pursue it! Love the people that don't understand it but start surrounding yourself with people that do. Finally, understand that you need to own your story. It's your life, you are the only one that can live it. Make it count. You will accomplish more in your life if you start pursuing what matters to you instead of trying to prove your worthiness to the entire world. It's a process, I still have days I struggle with fear but everyday I practice this I find it a little bit easier and my courage grows every time I step outside of my comfort zone. I love the Brene Brown quote below. Stop hustling for your worthiness!
If you have been reading this and wondering if coaching might be the path for you, I am accepting 5 applications this month to my mentorship program. I would love to talk to you more about it and see if it would be a good fit for you. Click here to apply--> https://angelsofvalor.wufoo.com/forms/angels-of-valor-coach-application/
If you know you need to do something about your health and you are ready to jump into a world of accountability and surround yourself with people on the same mission, I would love to have you in my challenge group! I have a new one starting next week. Click here to get more information on joining a challenge group----> http://wearebeingtransformed.weebly.com/join-a-challenge-group.html
"And Aubrey was her name. A not so very ordinary girl or name."(Or so says David Gates ;) I'm a wife to Phillip, a mother to Scarlett and Juliet. We live in the beautiful city of Thornton, Co. I'm a recovering red bull addict. I love to read. I hate to cook. I seek to be inspired and also to inspire others. I am a Beachbody Coach on a quest to be truly healthy mind, soul, and body and challenge others to do the same.