I have had so many discussions with people about fitness and weight loss, and the most common thing I hear is, " I have failed so many times before, I'm just not ready to try again." Some have had momentary success and ended right back where they started and others barely made it out of the gate but they are overwhelmed, discouraged, and hopeless. My heart breaks for them! They look around at other people who seem to have it all together and they feel inferior. They hide when cameras come out, and crop photos of themselves so as not to be reminded of their failure. They feel dressed in their shame. When I get into these discussions, my sole purpose is to bring hope because regardless of what the track record has been, the goal is to fail forward. What does that mean? It means that you now know what didn't work for you and you pick yourself up and make a new plan. For some, that may mean changing the exercise program or the diet that they were following but in most cases in comes down to accountability.
I have worked out as long as I can remember. My mom worked out and so it was just part of our lifestyle. We also grew up on the beach so we surfed, skateboarded, and went for crazy long walks in the evenings. Exercise was abundant! My mom made healthy food but we still had things like cookies or chips lying around the house too, so ultimately our diet, as it should be, ended up being our own responsibility. Being part of the same family does not guarantee the same metabolism or even the same attraction to healthy food. My sister loves healthy food but she also loves donuts and chips. She worked out but she ate what she wanted. In high school, she was a couple sizes larger than me but not heavy by any standard. She told me later on that people actually said horrible things to her like, " Wow, it sucks for you to be the fat sister." (She was wise to keep it to herself though, I might have been arrested for assault otherwise!) Ashley had an active lifestyle so she maintained a decent weight, but because of her eating habits, she never got truly fit.
She married young and got pregnant right away and that's really where her trouble began. She gained 60 lbs her first pregnancy and before she had time to lose all the weight she was pregnant again. She said her wake up call was 4 months after the birth of her second baby, she got on the scale and she had gained 6 pounds since her 6 week check up. She said, " I felt like I was in someone else's body. I realized I had to get my support system back and get moving!"
I would like to introduce my sister, Ashley! Before picture she weighed in at 184, after picture she weighed in at 125.
First, I want to start out by saying that this amazing transformation was ALL her. I was part of her support group and I encouraged her but I am not at all taking credit for what she accomplished. This girl was a powerhouse of determination! She joined fitness clubs online, researched the best workouts for a mom of toddlers, made meal plans on her own, and not only did she create a life of accountability for herself, she invited others to join her. She was ( unofficially) coaching long before the rest of us and it was not an easy path! She had people discouraging her, telling her she was being unhealthy, and at times people purposely tried to sabotage her diet by tempting her with things she loved to eat! I watched that girl throw away food so she wouldn't be tempted! I know very few people that can thrive under that much negativity. She's amazing! She was reamed out on social media for posting about her workouts to the point that she deleted her status' and refrained from talking about her journey online. She jumped over every hurdle, and dodged every obstacle and refused to be discouraged. And yes, she did it herself but she succeeded because she had accountability. She had constructed a plan so when she was in tears over a mean spirited comment she could be encouraged by a true friend. She asked people to follow up with her and hold her to the standard that she had set. She offered to help others and she let that be motivation to succeed herself. I remember distinctly walking around her neighborhood one night ( We still love long walks!) and she said, " I finally get it! I finally feel in control and it's addicting! I want to eat healthy, I want to feel this good! I'm not making myself doing it anymore. I want to do it!"
Just like peddling your bike up a hill, there is that moment you reach at the top where you get to coast down the other side! Does that mean someone who hates working out suddenly loves it? No. Does that mean someone that is addicted to sugar isn't tempted anymore? No. What changes is that you have grasped the vision, and tasted the success, and you have cemented good habits in place of your bad habits and the temptations are no longer stronger than your vision.
Her story is a large part of why I decided to become a Beachbody coach. Not only did she have to fight the battle inside her own mind to control her own cravings and force herself to workout in the beginning but she had to fight against the world outside as well. It is not easy to keep the course in the midst of all that struggle and discouragement. This is why I am such a believer in challenge groups! So often, the motivation that we need to continue comes from being surrounded by like minded people that are pursuing similar goals. People that understand the self doubt and the temptation to cave. People that stand beside you and see the beauty of the vision you have for your life and remind you when you lose sight of that vision. The voices encouraging you need to be louder than those that are discouraging you! Even one negative opinion can make you doubt EVERYTHING. You have to have people you turn to that will remind you of the truth when those moments come because they WILL come. How does the quote go? " If you fail to plan, then you plan to fail." It's not all meal plans and work out schedules, you have to plan for the emotional set backs too.
We need each other! Part of why I love coaching is that it gives ME that extra motivation to get my workouts in and to eat healthy. I am way more aware when the red bull is calling my name from the check out line in Target that others are watching me. It's easier to make wise choices knowing that it helps other people make wise choices.
If you are feeling discouraged, if you have desperately tried to get control over your nutrition and still feel lost, there really is hope! The program that I recommend is the 21 Day Fix. It's 30 minute simple and effective workouts paired with an easy to follow nutrition plan that comes with a color coded container system for a no-brainer approach to healthy eating. It teaches you portion control as you go through the program. No calorie counting, no points! It also leaves room for coffee, tea, wine, and chocolate as well as other approved treats. No depriving yourself here!
It takes 21 days to break a bad habit and 21 days to build a good one and that's the premise of the 21 Day Fix. The challenge pack sale for the 21 Day Fix has been extended for the month of July which makes it the lowest price of the year and it also comes with a 30 day money back guarantee. You can complete the entire program and pay nothing if it doesn't work for you! The challenge group is a complimentary service for those that buy a challenge pack to help you succeed.
You can check out the details for the 21 Day Fix here or email me for more information at firstname.lastname@example.org ---> Check it out! :)
Come as you are! Learn with us, struggle with us, and conquer with us! I have a new challenge group starting every month (next one is July 13th) with other women that are either right where you are or have been there themselves. Fail forward, my friends! Success awaits you!
7/1/2015 03:59:08 am
Beautifully well written! Thank you for pointing out the influence of the outside world as we diet! It is truth; for me, it has been family who have been jealous and tried to sabotage the work I was doing. I am better in every capacity of my life for dropping the extra weight. It even benefits those who tried to jinx my hard work; I am able to care for my parents and grandparents because I have the energy to do it all, and the ability to lift, crawl around, and carry things I simply could not have many pounds ago. Thanks, Aubrey!
7/1/2015 06:27:53 am
I never knew Ashley to be heavy. She was always beautiful and slim when I met her. I love her and really miss her whole family. I pray that Jason would get transferred back to Florida.
7/11/2015 12:05:01 am
Such a well-written tribute to an amazing woman who happens to be my son's BFF and the mother of my cutie-pie grandchildren. She is the best daught-in-love anyone could ever hope for. I thank God for her and you, Aubrey! ❤️
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"And Aubrey was her name. A not so very ordinary girl or name."(Or so says David Gates ;) I'm a wife to Phillip, a mother to Scarlett and Juliet. We live in the beautiful city of Thornton, Co. I'm a recovering red bull addict. I love to read. I hate to cook. I seek to be inspired and also to inspire others. I am a Beachbody Coach on a quest to be truly healthy mind, soul, and body and challenge others to do the same.