It's funny how life sneaks up on you. Circumstances and experiences create a mold of sorts that form our ideas about life and shape the way we view ourselves and sometimes we don't even see it happening. I was talking to an amazing women last night who was sharing her struggling with social anxiety, something that she had not experienced before to that extent and I was able to share my story with her.
Living in fear of other peoples opinions, feeling shame when they can't relate to you or show outright disdain for your life choices, mulling conversations over in your head long after they have past, wondering if you said too much, revealed to much and feeling exposed, these are all things that I went through every time I went out. I stopped wanting to socialize with people! I felt judged all the time and, quite honestly, I don't even think it was truly happening.
I got myself in a frame of mind where I was so focused on what other people were thinking and trying to hide my crazy.
You know what I've learned? We are all crazy! haha It's the truth! We all have stuff!
I felt insecure because, for the first time in my life, I was out of my element. I was trying to be a good mother by giving them every second of my time and energy and not leaving any room for being an individual. I was constantly comparing myself to other moms trying to see if I was doing a good job and the plethora of opinions on that was mind numbing! As I got others opinions, I opened myself up to their judgement. If I didn't agree with them or follow their advice, I feared coming in contact with them and often shame was put on me for my choices. I simply couldn't make everyone in my life happy with me and I felt like I was going to implode!
You know what? Nothing outside my life has changed. Opinions run rampant, what changed was my mentality. I started making time for ME, caring myself mind, body, and spirit. I pursued my God given gift of serving others. I took my eyes off what other people think of me, and got to work being someone I respect, and being an encouraging, nonjudgemental voice in a world struggling with fear and shame. I'm not looking for my worth in the opinions of others anymore and that is the only difference! I feel comfortable with who I am and how I am living. I am always looking to grow and learn to be a better wife, mom, and human being and its ok if I make mistakes along the way! It's ok for YOU to make mistakes as you figure it out too! SO be an individual. Let yourself out of hiding. You don't need the approval of others, you need your own approval and the way to get there is to start being who you were created to be! It's not selfish to spend time growing your gifts and interests, it's life giving! For yourself and for others.
"And Aubrey was her name. A not so very ordinary girl or name."(Or so says David Gates ;) I'm a wife to Phillip, a mother to Scarlett and Juliet. We live in the beautiful city of Thornton, Co. I'm a recovering red bull addict. I love to read. I hate to cook. I seek to be inspired and also to inspire others. I am a Beachbody Coach on a quest to be truly healthy mind, soul, and body and challenge others to do the same.