Yes, this blog post is inspired by the movie Tangled! I have been on a kids movie kick this month. The older my children get the more I am paying attention to what they are watching and whether or not it communicates things I want them absorbing into their subconscious and if it does not, we talk about it. We bring it the surface and discuss it. I want them to learn to think through the message that they are being sold. I want them choosing truth over pleasant sounding fairytales. I don't want them waiting for their life to start. It's already started!
I have always felt like an oddity. While other girls were dreaming of engagement rings and wedding dresses, I never even paused to reflect on those things. I wanted to have a family someday but until the right person came along, I had other priorities. And I won't lie, it didn't seem like I was ever going to meet anyone! I was passionate about my education and very ambitious. I wanted a career. I had no desire to sit around waiting for Mr. Right to come along, he was going to have to keep up with me if he wanted a chance. I had people telling me I was too independent, that I would never make a good wife or mother, that marriage would be too hard for me.
It's funny, if I were to hear someone else being told those things I would fly into a rage at their defense but it didn't bother me at all to have people speak them over me. I didn't want whatever it was they were telling me I was missing out on.
You know what I have discovered? Focusing on living my life without waiting around for things to happen has made me a good wife and mother! I have not put all my hopes and dreams on my husband. I have my own. We dream together. We support each other but being a person with dreams and ambitions has served us both! I lost sight of that for a little while after the girls were born and life was crazy. I forgot to care for myself in light of this great new responsibility. Instead of trying to be EVERYTHING for me, Phillip gently helped me to get back to things I loved doing and encouraged me to be that independent driven girl he married.
As a mom, I have learned that my job isn't to make their childhood this perfect magical place. It's my job to teach them the art of living! it's my job to teach them how to discover who they are and what they are called to do. It's my job to teach them how to interact with other people with respect and love. It's my job to give them every opportunity to create a life they are excited to live. The beauty of that is it requires ME to be the example! I don't need to simply be a servant in my home making meals, doing laundry, and making life exciting for everyone else. I get to LIVE! I get to show them what it looks like to be excited about life, to find what makes them come alive, to show them to trust their journey, to admit they are wrong sometimes, to apologize when they need to, and most importantly to see their worth and beauty! That can't happen if I am not caring for myself. The words I say have to line up with my actions or they will default to what they know from my example. If I want my daughters to have an amazing life, I have to have an amazing life! That thought fills me with joy!
The mom guilt ( shame really) can go. I don't have to be like other moms. I don't have to be good at crafts, or imaginative play, or cooking! I get to be who I am and share that with them! I don't have to live feeling frustrated with all that HAS to be done. I can do things in my own way. If they are interested in things I'm not than we will find outlets for them to explore those things but I don't have to carry the weight of being what I am not.
I don't have to wait until my children are grown to get on with my life. Living well is part of the training. They don't have to wait until they are 16 to start driving to live. The don't need to wait until college or when they meet their spouse. They don't need to wait until they have children to truly live or wait to their children are grown. Living needs to be happening every day of our lives! It may look a little different in each season of life but we should be giving it our ALL! We shouldn't be looking around us trying to dictate what a good wife or mother looks like. We should be showing the world and our families what a good wife and mother means to us! There are a million ways to be amazing example of a woman.
Ive always loved Proverbs 31 and when you get into the meat of this scripture there is so much freedom!
She considers a field, she plants a vineyard, she is strong in every way, she works hard, she cares for others, her husband is honored by her life, she speaks wisdom, she teaches kindness, she takes care of her household. Everything here points to a woman delighting in her life and God given abilities. This is not a woman tired and beaten down and bored with life, this is a woman on fire with passion for life!
Each of our families are different, just as each person on this planet is different. Looking well to the ways of your household includes caring for yourself and creating a home that blesses ALL it's members. If that excludes you, something needs to change.
The single most important thing I feel that we do in our challenge groups is learning to value ourselves. The work outs and the nutrition are part of it because physically caring for ourselves is important but its carving time out for ourselves and making ourselves a priority in our own eyes that inspires change, sparks excitement, and helps us to start living!
We don't need to be sitting around feeling trapped in our tower anymore than Rapunzel did. We just need to get to it! If you need some ideas, books, or other resources to get inspired, message me! I would love to share the things that have changed my life and see that fire come alive in YOU!
"And Aubrey was her name. A not so very ordinary girl or name."(Or so says David Gates ;) I'm a wife to Phillip, a mother to Scarlett and Juliet. We live in the beautiful city of Thornton, Co. I'm a recovering red bull addict. I love to read. I hate to cook. I seek to be inspired and also to inspire others. I am a Beachbody Coach on a quest to be truly healthy mind, soul, and body and challenge others to do the same.