I hear the expression " I fell off the wagon" a lot in my profession. It's usually expressed with shame and discouragement, two things that I have to come to see as the true enemy on our journey.
In the three years that I have been on my own health journey I have learned a few things that I am going to share with you today. I hope they set you free to leap off the wagon!
1. The wagon is not what we think it is! In our minds the wagon is some sort of direct route to success where the truly smart, dedicated, and self controlled seem to stay. Getting a seat on that wagon means we are doing well. Let me tell you, if such a vehicle existed, it would be empty! We are all a mess!
What is actually happening is that we are souls on a mission of self discovery and through human connectedness we share and learn and grow. So your friend attends a seminar that changes her life, and she is so pumped about it that you decide THIS is it! This is what you need to make progress! You go, you learn some things, you attempt to do all the same things she did and for awhile there is progress. Then, the unthinkable happens, you fall off the wagon. You stop doing the behaviors that brought the success.
You look over at your friend and she is happily still succeeding and the thoughts begin to set in.
I'm a failure. I never finish anything. I didn't set out what I was supposed to do. I am a weak person. I am less than others.
Now you may not have spoken things things allowed or even let the words form in your mind but your emotions are ALL IN. The shame takes over, the discouragement sets in and reach for your old comfortable bad habits and the tv remote to try and numb the pain of feeling worthless.
2. You are SO very worthy! That is the truth! There is not one human on the earth that is better than you, nor are you better than anyone else, but we are SO different. I wish I could tell you that you will find a life seminar or a wellness program that will be everything you need but you won't. You are so unique that it's going to take a unique series of life lessons and experiences to uncover the glories of being YOU. You are a great archeological exploration that only you can uncover. You may glean insight from some of the books your friends have found life changing, you may share in their experiences and connect but ultimately you have to forge your own path and THAT is why you " fall off the wagon". There is no group ride to success, it's a solitary walk through the wilderness. It doesn't have to be lonely though! Surrounding yourself with people that desire to grow is one of the best things you can do for yourself! Sharing resources, talking through obstacles, getting ideas, trying new things that you would never have tried on your own, sharing the journey will take you farther than you would have ever gotten on your own. BUT, in the end, you have to learn to sort through it all and choose what propels YOU forward.
3. You're going to get lost. You are out in the wildnerness with no path laid out in front of you. Each step is your choice and that's a scary responsibility. Often, we would rather follow someone else and have someone to blame when things don't pan out but we can't do that! We have to own our stories and take the risk! That means getting lost from time to time. That means trying things that we find out don't work for us. So we scratch things off the list and keep going!
As an example, in my challenge groups, my challengers often want to know which work outs I prefer. They see my results and they want what I have. I ask a ton of questions and try to steer them in the right direction but often they choose to start with my favorite. A few days in, I will ask them how they are liking the workouts. If they are loving them, then great! But if not, I ask more questions! I generally find out that they aren't a fan of lifting weights or they don't like the personality of the trainer and we dig until we find something that they DO find joy in! They didn't fail, in fact it was a smashing success, because they know MORE about themselves than they did before they started. In the beginning they didn't know anything about their preferences and now they have a starting point to make changes that will help them enjoy a vital part of our journey: our health! Making sense? Getting lost isn't a terrible thing! It's part of self discovery!
4. Success is defined by YOU. Let's be honest. When we are trying to see how successful we are, we look around and start comparing right? We feel good when we see that we are doing "better" than someone else ( usually financially or relationally) and we feel badly when we look at someone else and they appear to be more successful than us. The comparison is a problem.
The first Valentines Day after I got married was quiet. Gift giving is NOT my love language, I hate crowded restaurants, I think flowers are a waste of money, and I am health conscious so a big box of chocolate is not my idea of a great present! However, the recently married women in my circle were flashing their new jewelry and gushing about all the grand gestures their husbands made for them and then turned to me with expectation. I felt SO small. I walked away from that conversation feeling so icky ( though not mad at my husband! So there was a win! ;)) I felt like something was wrong with me. Fortunately I was self aware enough to walk myself through it. I KNEW I didn't want ANY of those things! I just had to accept that I was different and the fact that my hubby knew me well enough to buy me books and my favorite beverage was a HUGE win for our marriage! I had chosen a spouse wisely. ( Success defined by ME) I would have been annoyed and stressed out if my hubby came home with all that stuff, so to get into a funky mood about why he didn't wasn't true to myself and TOTALLY not fair to him! I am happy for all those women that married men that serve them but I will not compare my marriage to theirs. It's apples vs oranges!
So, in terms of your health journey, keep some things in mind! Health is more than just your physical body, it starts with your thoughts and emotions. Start there! Ask yourself questions instead of giving into the waves of emotions that wash over you. Why are you feeling stressed? What about that social interaction made you feel icky, or unworthy, or unloved? Who are you comparing yourself to? Why are you running to food, sex, drugs, or even TV to numb the pain? What truths do you need to face in your life? What mess is in front of you that needs to be dealt with? What is one thing that you can do right now to get started? What is a book or podcast you can read to pour truth into that brain of yours that will address what you are walking though? Read or listen each day! Keep investing in materials that will guide you. Continue to do the work of evaluating which informations serves you and let the rest go. Then take a step into the wilderness. Even if its just a baby step! Can you feel the excitement building? Don't just fall off the wagon, leap! The wilderness is calling and you were born for this great adventure! <3
I bought myself a cutting board. A ridiculous announcement I know but hear me out! 😂 I'm learning to say yes to myself more often. As someone that grew up in poverty and as a passionate budgeter and crazy coupon lady, I often put things in the cart that I want or even need only to talk myself out of it because " the money could be used for something more important".
Over time, this frame of mind has damaged the way I think of myself. I am not even on the bottom of the list. I am not worthy enough to spend money on things I want or need. That's not an outside perspective. That's an inside one!
So, I've committed to saying yes to myself more especially when it comes to things that make my life easier!
I've been living life with one cutting board for years. I make every meal in our house! I deserve a couple extra cutting boards! Am I right?
I want you to think about it. I know budgets can be tight and they are necessary but what is something you can say yes to that will bless you and reaffirm your worth as a human being? Ladies, this can be as simple as taking a night off to get out of the house! Give yourself the respect and thought that you give others! It will change your perspective and help you feel like the worthy gorgeous woman that you ARE! 💗
Yesterday I came down with a sore throat. It didn't surprise me. I've been on the move most of the past month, and I'm exhausted! It was an amazing month of adventures for which I'm grateful, and I ate as well as I could on the run, but it takes a toll on the body.
I talked to my challengers about it last night because I want them to understand, this process isn't about losing weight or gaining muscle, it's about SELF-CARE.
This lifestyle has taught me to be in tune with my body. I'm now aware of when I need rest, when my body doesn't respond well to certain foods, even what time of day I should and shouldn't eat!
I've learned how good I feel and how well I sleep when I've been exercising. I've learned that it doesn't matter what the scale says when I feel good in my own skin. I've learned to make my own well-being sacred instead of a punishment for not looking like a super model!
As a coach, I'm going to tell you a truth you need to hear: Change doesn't come from a product. They are merely tools in our arsenal. Change comes when we make this promise to ourselves. An unbreakable promise to hold our own well being sacred even when we stumble our way through it!
Exhaustion, illness, weight gain, bowel issues, skin issues, these are all ways our bodies communicate that something is off. Lean into the journey! Learn about nutrition. Find exercise you enjoy! Pay attention to what your body is telling you. Learn to be aware of what it needs from you and you will fall in love your body and the journey!
We've been told as women that if we hit that goal weight, if we fit into that dress, if we looked more like the airbrushed model in the ad we would be happy. It's a lie!
It isn't about weight loss. The photo on the left I had lost all the baby weight from two pregnancies. I was down to my pre pregnancy goal weight and I was still unhappy with my body. I was nit picking and speaking negatively to the girl in the mirror.
At that time, she was my success story. I had done it. I had lost the weight, but when I look at my journey two years later, I realize I had only just begun!
Two years of filling my mind with personal development, with treating my body with respect, of learning to be in tune with what it needed from me and I learned to love it emotionally through practically loving it through my actions!
I'm 38, I'm 8 pounds heavier than the goal weight I used to set for myself, I'm out of the underweight category that the world encouraged me to stay in.
I'm free, mentally emotionally and physically, and I'm happy and I love my body. That is the true goal!
Losing the shame, losing the unrealistic unattainable standards, and simply falling in love with respecting ourselves!
We are under educated about nutrition, we are neck deep in fad diets, we are chasing ever moving target goals. It has to stop!
Clean week starts in our Heart of a Warrior challenge group on October 15th. It's one week of true nutrition guidance, realistic 30 minute workouts that anyone can do, and a weeks worth of shakes full of nutritionally dense superfoods that will help heal your gut and reduce cravings through actually giving your body what it needs.
It's a week to give you the tools you need, how to be consistent, how to eat well, and how to make it a sustainable lifestyle!
I didn't tell anyone when I started because I was afraid I'd just fail again, but here I am almost three years later happier, healthier, and more consistently respecting myself in the decisions I make!
It's a journey that I'm still on but I'm growing, changing, transforming from the inside out. You can do this! Its only $30 to get the tools! Come join me for clean week and see what's it's all about! Link to our free group below!
When we hit our lowest points, we tend to start looking down on ourselves. We look at our mess and compare ourselves to others. We want to be free of the consequences our decisions have created. We want the pain to stop, but it's the pain that awakens us!
It's the desire for a lack of pain that makes us turn the ship around. It's not the end of our story, it's the beginning of a new chapter!
Don't be defeated! Seeing what needs to change is a huge step! The secret is deciding things will not stay as they are and letting that fuel you to fail forward. Practice new behaviors, create new habits. It's uncomfortable and even painful in it's own way but it produces the beautiful supernova that you long to see reflecting back at you in the mirror!
Whatever is causing you to burst open today, lean into it! Let it inspire you and transform you. Choose the sharp momentary pain of change over the long dull aching pain of staying in your comfort zone. You can't grow there. You're highest potential is outside those boundaries. Dare to step over that line! 🌠🌠🌠
"And Aubrey was her name. A not so very ordinary girl or name."(Or so says David Gates ;) I'm a wife to Phillip, a mother to Scarlett and Juliet. We live in the beautiful city of Thornton, Co. I'm a recovering red bull addict. I love to read. I hate to cook. I seek to be inspired and also to inspire others. I am a Beachbody Coach on a quest to be truly healthy mind, soul, and body and challenge others to do the same.